morninglory17 (morninglory17) wrote in hanmichigo,

Joker Face

Author: morninglory17
Title: Joker Face
Genre: comedy
Pairing: Jaejoong/Olivia, OT5, Gaga/herself
Rating: PG
Length: 913 words
Summary: Women don't always get along. / Gaga's not all she's cracked up to be.
A/N: WARNING WARNING WARNING: slight Gaga bashing.I don't really have anything against Gaga--after all, I don't know her. Its just a story. But if your feelings are going to get hurt, please remember that I warned you, or just don't read. I just can't help thinking that Olivia's artistry is more interesting.


“What happened to Hyukjae?” Junsu asked. He had given the man strict instructions to stay put while he went to the bathroom but his friend had disappeared from the dressing room.

“Went to meet Lady Gaga with the rest of Suju,” Yoochun said. He was flipping through a magazine.

Junsu muttered and walked off again. Lady Gaga was the surprise of the night at this awards show, but Junsu, for one, had no interest in her. One picture of her wearing a solar system on her head had scared him off forever.

“Hey Liv,” Yoochun said suddenly. He brought his feet down off the counter to look over at Olivia and Jaejoong, who were alternately teasing each other and making out. They looked over like deer in headlights, Jaejoong’s tie caught between her fingers. Yoochun grinned. “Don’t you want to meet Gaga?” he asked her.

“Why should I?” she asked, coyly pulling Jaejoong closer while she looked at Yoochun. Jaejoong kissed her cheek.

“She’s funky like you,” Yoochun answered.

“She’s weird like you,” Jaejoong said.

She shrugged.

“If she’s standing right in front of me I’ll say hi, but I’m not particularly interested in her. Her music all sounds the same to me. Did she even write it?”

Yoochun shrugged and went back to his magazine singing, “P-p-p-poker face p-p-poker face.”

Yunho breezed into the room at that moment.

“Ten minutes guys. Olivia, for God’s sake, wipe your lipstick off his face,” he commanded.

Olivia smiled.

The boys’ performance was smashing, or so Olivia told them later. She sat with Lee Junki in the audience, whom Yoochun said was always trying to “mack” on her. She assured Jaejoong she only had eyes for him. And maybe for Minho, but he was a little young.

Backstage was packed with performers, staff, agents, friends, and family. The boys made it back to the dressing room and began to remove the ties and the jackets.

The door opened when half of Superjunior poured in, and the dong bang boys groaned; it was already a billion degrees in here. Olivia had Jaejoong’s tie wrapped around her neck while she hung his jacket on its hanger.

“Knock knock,” someone said. The entire group of Korean boys plus one Japanese girl ignored these words, as they were not loud enough to cut through the din.

“Yunho,” their agent barked, a little louder this time. Now he had most of their attention. “There’s someone who I want to introduce you to.”

Behind the agent was a woman wearing a futuristic outfit and a long white-blond wig. She gave a casual smile at the men who were staring at her. There was also a large camera crew behind her, no doubt documenting Gaga’s trip to Asia.

“Hello again,” she said to the Superjunior boys.

“This is DBSK,” the agent said, pointing out the members. Yunho and Junsu were already changed, Yoochun was folding a shirt, Changmin was putting his things away, and Olivia was standing between Jaejoong’s legs while he sat in a chair, helping him extract his earpiece from his clothing.

“I’ve heard so much about you,” Gaga said to Yunho, shaking hands with him. Her translator helped her to communicate with him for a few moments before she approached the other guys.

Changmin just nodded and said hello, indicating as he usually did that he wasn’t interested in talking. Junsu stood beside Yoochun while the older man chatted with her, but he was too hyper to get into a conversation in a language in which he wasn’t fluent.

When the manager pushed Gaga towards Jaejoong and Olivia, Jaejoong pulled Olivia by the waist to stand slightly behind him, but the manager had other ideas.

“This lovely lady is a popular artist in Japan. Her name is Olivia.”

Lady Gaga’s eyes lit upon Olivia and the man standing beside her.

“Uh…what nationality are you?” she asked her.

“I’m Japanese and American,” Olivia said in English.

“Oh!” the other woman said. “What are you doing here then?”

Olivia blinked. Did a Japanese woman not have as much right to be in Korea as an American woman?

“This is my boyfriend Jaejoong,” Olivia said.

Gaga and Jaejoong exchanged hellos, but otherwise Jaejoong couldn’t understand anything being said now that the women were conversing in English.

“Asian men must be an acquired taste,” Gaga commented with an appraising look at Jaejoong.

"...Whats wrong with Asians?" Olivia asked.

"Oh, there's nothing wrong with you!"Gaga amended. "I just mean these guys...They all look kind of girly to me."

Olivia felt a tic in her right eye.

“I would think that would suit your tastes perfectly.” Since you like women.

“I’m sorry?” Gaga said.

“Nothing,dear. It was nice to meet you,” Olivia said, turning away.

At all the after parties that night everyone was telling their stories about meeting Lady Gaga. Olivia encountered several English speakers besides herself who didn’t think too highly of the woman after hearing her say derogatory things, but they kept this from the natives. No need to ruin their fun, although her comments had at times been rather infuriating (“the sushi is better in America, honestly”)(this was said about kimbap, not sushi) or (“what was the point of this trip again?”). Olivia decided that she didn’t care what Gaga said, she would just be happy not to meet the woman again.

“Paparazzi, paparazzi,” Yoochun sang in passing her. Olivia’s hand shot out to grab his chin.

“Shut it,” she said.

“Whyyy” he whined.

“Because I’ll p-p-p-poke your face p-p-poke your face if you don’t.”

“Yes ma’am,” he grinned.

Tags: :kim jaejoong, :olivia lufkin, :ot5, genre: crack/comedy, het!, one-shots
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